Christmas is over and it’s on to New Year, obviously we have the week in between where we are still allowed to drink copious amounts of alcohol and let the kids eat sweets for breakfast but it’s nearly over, back to work, school and sadly reality. No more fretting over turkeys, stuffing, wrapping or sprouts, funnily enough that seems so trivial when your hit with the huge credit card bill at the beginning of January. First we have to get over New Year.
To me the whole new beginnings thing is a bit like those awful baby books, just setting you up to fail. For example The New Years resolution, who invented that? We start the year full of hope and optimism buoyed by our resolutions only to find by mid February (and in my experience that’s pushing it) that we can’t stick to any of them. Why are we compelled to make them so unachievable? If mine were to: Eat too many takeaways, drink too much cava and not do enough exercise that would be fine. Those are doable, realistic and I can guarantee that I would be able to stick to them the whole way through next year and beyond. But……No that’s not allowed, whoever invented the New Years resolution also made the rule that they have to be impossible to stick too.
Yes I do want Davina’s beach body, I want the skills of Mary Berry crossed with Nigela in the kitchen so not only do I never need to order a takeaway again, but I will look damn sexy in my silk dressing gown while stuffing a homemade scone seductively into my mouth. I want to be Mary Poppins meets super nanny, all happy with the kids, never skipping a reading night and having lots of fun playing games with them Not forgetting my old mate Kirsty Allsopp, I too want to make my own wrapping paper, blow my own cava glasses and make my own cushions, I might even try decoupage (if I knew what it was). The thing is I simply do not have the, patience, dedication or time. Nor do I have a film crew following me around while people behind the scenes make sure everything turns out o.k. while doing my hair and make up and constantly telling me I’m “wonderful dahrliing”.
So why I ask myself am I still vowing to not only join a gym but to actually go, why am I hankering after Lycra and running shoes imagining myself dropping the kids to school and going for a 10K run round Hampstead Heath. What is possessing me to consider sex 5 times a week (which will either keep him smiling or possibly kill him with the exertion) so that the va va voom stays in our marriage. Blimey I may even go down the catsuit route again!!! Whats making me promise myself to juice every morning, cut out carbs, never eat wheat, get a washboard stomach by late May ready for the beach. Bloody New Year that’s why!!! The hypes getting to me.
So this time I’m keeping it real, I’m not doing anything, just staying the same that way even I can’t get it wrong. No gyms, no running no juicing. Just 2018 and see what it brings.
I wish you a Happy New Year and hope that it is a good one for you, and if your at a loose end for a resolution you could commit to reading this blog no gym required! Just a suggestion, lets hope its a good one.